How many times do we take the easy road? Or just walk in the shallows, and never look deeper because it takes perseverance? To splash and flirt and play is simple and fun. Who wouldn't want to have fun?
It hit me that my life right now isn't necessarily fun. And yet, it's always worth it to live for Christ. And in that living, I have to learn to be mature...I had decided that I hated maturity and I wanted to be "17 again." But I'm 18, soon to turn 19, and life will never be the same again. Going to college, working to support myself, being in ministries that are not in Africa. I stand and fight, facing my fears and the devil with the sword of the Word of God. And I'm not making it bigger or making it a big deal. I am just describing the stupidity of trying to ignore reality.
What right do I have to engage in flirtatious banter with this world and the deception it presents? Batting my eyelashes at a witty guy while the man of my dreams fights suicide.
I laugh and never think my will can be bent.
And at that moment, my laughter chokes me, because I remember
Jesus died for the sinner
Who just just gave me his number,
I smiled and deleted it
Hoping we can go back to being friends.
Oh, friendship. Such a silly word
When describing the opposite sex.
I thought I had my life under control, and I lost my soul
To the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life.
I think I died inside.
Just because I have spiritual debates,
Does that mean they'll go to heaven?
Shall I try to drag them?
And beg them to know the very God I adore.
But I just splash salt water at them,
And hope I didn't get any in their eyes
With my vain attempts to pass them by.
I simply get caught in the tide.
I lose my grip on what's important
When I see what I think is a shortage
Of "fun"
And I lose the joy of the Lord
When I look not at heaven, but the floor
For "fun"
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